Some films, such as Ben-Hur, Napoleon and Lawrence of Arabia were made to be seen on the big screen, as were some films meant to be seen in their respective original formats and glorious new restorations. As a keen cinephile, I couldn’t do the 2009 slasher flick My Bloody Valentine 3D the injustice of not watching it without the old-school flip-out cardboard 3D glasses, which thankfully, came included with my charity shop DVD purchase. And you know what? Despite the at first nauseating, then okay, then nauseating again after you take them off and see everything in distorted green and purple after two hours of wearing them, they actually did add another entertaining dimension to the film. Long lost, outdated and forgotten, I once considered 3D glasses a thing of the past, but mark my words, we’ve had a resurgence of vinyl, cassette and film; next up: 3D glasses. Okay, don’t mark my words, I doubt they’ll make a comeback, and if they do, it’ll be either ironic or short-lived.
Films I refer to/potentially spoil in this article:
- My Bloody Valentine 3D (dir. Stephen Miller, 2009)
- Ben-Hur (dir. William Wyler, 1959)
- Napoleon (dir. Abel Gance, 1927)
- Lawrence of Arabia (dir. David Lean, 1962)
- My Bloody Valentine (dir. George Mihalka, 1981)
- Avatar (dir. James Cameron, 2009)
- Twin Peaks (1990 – 1991)
- Scream (dir. Wes Craven, 1996)
My Bloody Valentine 3D is a remake of the Canadian 1981 slasher of the same name (minus the “3D”) and was released in 2009, which was, of course, the year of Avatar, and consequently, the start of a few years consisting of a handful of titles that would try and cash in on this new and exciting way of seeing films, although 3D itself wasn’t that new a concept then, it was just reintroduced and improved due to the success of Avatar. Although back in 2009 I was merely a thirteen-year-old, unable to witness any horror spectacles in the third dimension, I did see a fair few films aimed at my age group given the 3D treatment. Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, most of my memories are of the adverts beforehand which were promoting 3D and making full use of how fun it could be. When cinemas bumped up the tickets for 3D screenings, there was usually only a scene or two which were specifically designed for the form, so as to justify the angry customers whose reviews were to be “nothing came out at me”. For the most part, 3D merely added depth to a scene and improved elements of immersion (unless you tilted your head the wrong way slightly and ruined everything). My expectations were minimal for My Bloody Valentine 3D on the 3D front, but, to my surprise, it actually turned out to be one of the most entertaining efforts and solid contributions to 3D viewing that I’ve seen in a long while.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves with that statement. I’m not implying in any way that My Bloody Valentine 3D should be recognised as one of the frontrunning classics of 3D cinema (if any actually exist), but I do stand by the opinion that the film gives the format an admirable amount of consideration. Of course, the obvious and now overused “pointy-things-poking-out-of-the-screen-dangerously-close-to-your-face gimmick is used repeatedly, but a fair few innovative and more subtle utilisations of the form are implemented. Scenes in which the gas-mask-faced killer swings his pick-axe at you or another character from a shadow or ajar door or window are highly effective, as are shots in which we are stalked by him from a distance and see him enter our so-to-speak dimension. Naturally, the winding and dimly-lit mining tunnels make for a great setting for horror and 3D also, given the gradually distant and evenly spaced, dangling lightbulbs and low-lying fog that carpets the catacombs. And, of course, many of the exaggeratively comic and inventive kills make full use of the form, a personal cringe-inducing favourite being an unexpected fatality near the beginning of the film where a partygoer is struck from behind, causing the pick-axe to go through the back of his head and deliver a dangly eyeball right into your living room. It’s one of the few films that I’ve seen that I would actually recommend watching in 3D as it plays with what’s available to it as opposed to dismissing it and whacking “3D” on the cover merely to sell more copies.
Image Credit: Syfy
Thankfully, My Bloody Valentine recognises and embraces its own absurdity, which allows it to go to the lengths that it does without coming across like it’s taking itself seriously. Within the first twenty minutes, there’s already been a classic late-teens-partying-where-they-shouldn’t-have-partied massacre, a battle between a naked model and a pick-axe wielding maniac in a motel room and a four-foot woman getting uppercutted into the ceiling with, you guessed it, a pick-axe. Additionally, another surprisingly entertaining aspect of the film to be thankful for is that its story isn’t as dire as you’d expect from a film called My Bloody Valentine 3D. It’s no insert-classic-film-of-your-choice, but it’s far away enough from being devastatingly boring like many films in this genre.
The town in which the film is set is not fundamentally dissimilar to Twin Peaks; a juxtaposing disinteresting town hit by interesting events where everybody knows everyone when literal backstabbing starts to happen. Through a reprisal of a vicious pick-axe murder massacre that happened ten years ago and the return of a strange near-victim of said tragedy, a collective panic encapsulates the town. As the extremely 3D opening titles of flying newspaper headlines suggest and literally every single character doesn’t let you forget, Harry Warden is a murderer! He is not alive! He was buried alive in that mine after killing all those people! Or is he? Yes, I killed him myself! This is more or less the dialogue surrounding the mystery of the psychopathic killer. It’s soon reiterated that Harry Warden most definitely isn’t dead, or at least somebody impersonating him is very much alive, as this character goes around making people very much dead. This generic and slightly vague string of incidents allows for the characters to push the narrative, which is almost solely focused on relationship dramas, which is no surprise given the title of the film. A little more emphasis on the cops who claimed to have killed Warden all those years ago may have enhanced the mythological terror of the character, but the relationship mysteries are aided by a decent cast and enjoyable pacing. I found myself surprisingly compelled at points as to who the killer was behind the mask, reminiscent of other whodunit slashers like Scream.
The DVD cover claims that My Bloody Valentine 3D is a “3D Ride to Hell!” which is an accurate enough description. It’s fast-paced, filled with twists and turns, and essentially just a bit of fun. It’s a welcome and nostalgic adage to the classic slasher thrillers. Stick with it through some of the less interesting scenes of melodramatic glue that binds together the plot, and you’ll be rewarded with a by-the-books but well-executed cosy night-in horror flick.
Loved:
- A slasher flick that respects its sub-genre roots. Equal measures of silliness, gore and a substantial narrative backbone holds your attention
- An inventive and playful use of 3D
- Strong pacing and a variety of locations aids the film from falling back in on itself
Didn’t Love so much:
- Although essential, some of the more dialogue-heavy sequences can feel repetitive and generic
- Although the characters are believable, none are overly exciting or memorable
- A little more attention regarding the lore of the killer may have strengthened him as a character
filmmish 